Friday, August 16, 2013

All of Me

I go through phases where I find a new song or a new artist and I can't get enough. Right now it's All of Me by Matt Hammitt. (See the bottom of this post for a youtube video of the song)

The first time I heard it I only caught the end of the song, and I thought it would make a great wedding song.

The chorus goes like this:

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start

Then I heard an interview with Matt Hammitt and he told the story behind the song. And it means so much more now. He and his wife found out his son Bowen would be born with a heart condition. The doctors didn't know if he would live or how long he would make it outside the womb. The song was written as Matt's way of giving the situation over to God, promising he would give himself completely to his son, regardless of the outcome. Sidebar: you can check out Bowen's Heart for the full story and updates on Bowen.

As I listened to the full song, I couldn't help but think how it applied to all the things I was going through when we had Hope. For kids in foster care, the primary goal is almost always reunification (meaning the child goes home to their parents or eventually goes to live with family). That doesn't always happen and it isn't always in the best interest of the child. But sometimes it can take a while for the state to figure out exactly what is in the child's best interests. Until a judge sends them home, foster parents are supposed to raise and love this child as they would their own. You have to be prepared to lose them at a moment's notice, all the while planning to continue life as "normal". It's hard to  love someone with all your heart and simultaneously prepare to lose them. It's even harder knowing that's how it's supposed to work. And that's what this song is about. 

It's hard, but it's so worth it. She was worth it. 

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