Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Baby #2

We've been dealing with this issue for almost a week now, but I haven't written about it here yet- mainly because I have no idea what's going to happen.

DCS wants to us to take Hope's older sister. ASAP. She is 2 years old and has already been in state custody for 6 months with another family. Her current foster family is awesome. She came into care with some very serious issues and after all of their love and attention she is doing so much better.

It makes no sense to me why they would want to move her. Siblings have to be together, I understand that. But these two girls have never met each other, they have different dads, they don't know they are siblings, and the other foster family loves Hope's sister and they don't want to give her up. I don't blame them. She is part of their family. She calls them mom and dad. At this point in her life I honestly think moving her will do more damage than good.

We are not even adjusted to life with a newborn. Adding a 2 year old at this point seems impossible. Especially after the night we had last night. I won't go into details but it involved lots of crying (from me and the baby) and both of us being covered head to toe in throw up. I may or may not have had a brief moment when I wanted to call DCS to come get Hope. Then I got over it and all is fine now. It was just over-tiredness and stress.

But, that's my point. We are stretched so thin right now between full-time work, full-time grad school, full-time newborn care, and lack of sleep, that I don't see how in the world we will be able to give this precious 2 year old the time and attention that she is used to (and needs so desperately in order to heal).

Does anyone know of a situation in which DCS will allow sisters to remain in separate foster homes? What if the birth-mom said it was ok for them to be in separate homes? Would that count for anything? We only live 2 miles from the other foster family and we could work out a schedule so the girls get plenty of sibling time together each week. I meet with our social worker tonight and we are going to have a heart-to-heart about it. I just hope it doesn't end up with them moving both girls to a totally separate home. :(


  1. There are a lot of similarities here with our daughter's case. She was placed with us at 2 mos. old and had never met her older half siblings. DCS wanted to bend over backwards to move her (after bonding with us) to a friend of the adoptive mom of two of her 4 half silbings (all diff dads) just so they siblings could be "together." I'd love to tell you more about what happened but it's too much to write here and I have 2 toddlers and I'm trying to work at the moment, LOL. But please email me - mahlbrandt at gmail and I'll explain further when I have time. It short, it was her GAL who spoke up at a perm. plan hearing and said the move was "not in the child's best interest" which caught the judge's ear and she made the bold decision to go over DCS's "policy" of "kinship" … using quotes because of the ridiculousness of both.

  2. Yeah, I understand placing siblings together, but if they've never met and both girls are bonding with the families they are with, why move them?

    Oh, fun fact...I also found out that Hope has 10 other half siblings on her dad's side. What happens if all of them come into custody? That's just dumb to think you could place 11 kids all together unless it's in a group home. Seriously people.