Today was a day that I had been dreading for weeks.
Today was the day I had to go back to the doctor. Almost a month ago I went in to find out what was hidden, growing from one of my ovaries for the second time, a tumor that is growing slowly but steadily. This time, I went to find out what needed to be done about it.
Did I mention I am terrified of the doctor?
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with a migraine from all of the stress, all of the worry. This morning I spent most of my time ignoring the ugly fear trying to claw its way out. My stomach stayed tied up in knots, and I gave in to the worry that had been chasing me.
Then I was reminded that I didn't have to go to the doctor alone. I was reminded that the last time I went, I found Him there. He went before me.
This Tuesday, I am unwrapping the gift of knowing that fear is a choice. It is not handed down from my gracious Father, rather it is force-fed to me by the one who delights in chaos. But I can't swallow this fear without first choosing to open my mouth. So today, I went into the doctor's office with ammunition. I took my Friend, my Father with me, and instead of being afraid, I chose to rest in knowing that He came to this earth so that I might have life, and that I might have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)
And you know what? That's one doctor's visit that wasn't so bad. :)